We are currently westbound somewhere in Missouri. Headed out west. I think our final destination is Moab, Utah but I’m hoping we don’t end up quite that far. Not that I don’t like Moab, I just don’t like spending more time in a truck than what it takes to birth a child. And if you were around for my run at winning the 2003 Childbirth Marathon title, you know that’s a long time. 

  Westbound on interstate 70.

This trip was not my idea. I was hoping for another week in northern Michigan but Matt wouldn’t hear of it. I think he secretly longs to be a truck driver or something. He would drive and drive and drive. 

Jake and I did our best to try to convince him to take vacation closer to home. Well our convincing mostly consisted of pouting and heavy sighing but we made an excellent case. He finally said he was going with or without us. A total bluff but we figured it was probably in our best interest just to get in the truck. His paycheck comes in handy and he is pretty good at fixing stuff, so we should probably try to keep him around. 

We got a late start yesterday. We had fair all week and since jake shows 4H pigs, we were a little busy. We didn’t leave the house until about 3:00pm

We have Piper with us again this trip. Not because we want to necessarily but more so because we are too cheap to pay the $200+ it takes to board her. Matt tried to get us to leave her at home explaining he only paid $200 for her to begin with so if she was dead when we got back he would just spend the $200 we saved on boarding her to buy me a new dog. He said the odds were in our favor that she would be there when we got back. 

I politely declined that option and threw Piper in the truck. 

  Piper dressed up and ready to go. 

Piper, who has never chewed up anything except an occasional rawhide bone, decided to chew the cord off of my beloved hair dryer (the one with 3 speeds and 2 settings, a diffuser and a cool down button) while we left her in the truck to grab a sandwich. We couldn’t have been gone 10 minutes. We came back to the truck with quite possibly one of the worst chicken sandwiches I’ve ever had (there’s a reason you’ve never heard someone say “gosh, I’m craving a Burger King chicken sandwich”. But I also guess that’s what I get for ordering chicken at a place with Burger in its name) and Piper had taken her clothes off and chewed my hair dryer cord. But she was sitting there calm as can be. I can only assume all of it was premeditated to pull off all that in 10 minutes and not even be panting. 

We made it to St Louis last night which apparently is the new location of hell. It was no less than 5000 degrees there last night. Oh my, it was hot. 

  Jake and Matt enjoyed a swim in the pool while I whittled a new hair dryer from a bar of soap. Orange is the New Black makes stuff like that seem so easy but it’s not. 

   Don’t let her cute looks fool you. Beneath the surface lurks a calculated criminal. 

  Westward bound.